30-Day Reflection Challenge
Reflection is the art of observing what was, recgonising what is and contemplating what will be. It allows us to step-back, examine how things really are, and temporarily indulge in places we want to be. Reflections often occur internally, in the mind, in the self. They are rarely voiced, and are shared only when prompted. Perhaps this is because reflections are so damn personal, and sharing them exposes our inner-thoughts and vulnerabilities. I was once told by a dear friend of mine that I should write out my thoughts, but my self-doubt consumed me, which stopped me from putting pen to paper, leaving my reflections unpublished.
I only started writing out my reflections one evening when I was feeling the loneliest I had ever felt. It was my first night in Canada, I had just arrived into the small town and settled into my new home. I was the first tenant to arrive, so there were no one else in the house, the Internet had not been set up (oh the horror!), and I was already missing the company of the people I had spent the previous two weeks with. It was a lonely place to be, and I was feeling lost (in my own thoughts). As I was unpacking, I found a red Moleskine notebook I had brought along with me for my travels, and started writing/reflecting on how I was feeling in that moment in time. It was a harmonious flow of words and thought, and I did not feel so lonely after having spent that little time with myself. And so I was a reflector from that point onwards - I reflected on good times and, just as importantly, on the times that were not so great.
A reflection about my eating habits in December 2013.
I chose to do the 30-Day Reflection Challenge in December 2013. Admittedly, I did not register what a great time of the year it was to reflect until a friend mentioned it. I was able look back on the year that was and look forward to what will be. It was a timely move also because I had started a 9-5 office job, and reflecting everyday allowed me to change up the routine of the daily grind. This was also my first corporate gig, so the daily reflections definitely helped with me figuring out what I really wanted to do with my life. As well, the fact that I made a 30-Day Challenge out of reflecting made me known as the girl who does 30-Day Challenges in the office, which gave me a real sense of self, rather than being a mere clog in the corporate machine.
The 30-Day Reflection Challenge has definitely given me the confidence to be more open as a person. For me, there is something so wonderful about writing out your thoughts and reflections. It is very different to letting reflections wallow about in our beautiful, complex minds. As I mentioned, I used to leave my thoughts to frolic about mind-juices, only ever sharing when prompted or when I felt I had a solid grounding for these reflections; there was a lot of self-doubt. So writing out my inner-thoughts was so damn empowering. It gave me sense of individuality, through developing my own voice; it gave me some kind of certainty as I was navigating the vast array of opinions out there; and it gave me a sense of clarity, of who I am and what I believed. As a result of the 30-Day Reflection Challenge, I have become a lot more open to being vulnerable, and am willing to accept sometimes my judgements are wrong. It has left me with a greater ability to accept change, especially changes within myself and others.
Illustration by Yumi Sakugawa.
I have continued to write out my reflections, though not on a daily basis. Regular reflections have contributed to my own discoveries, where I am constantly learning about myself, people and life in general. Reflection gives me space to myself, and a great excuse to wander about Sydney and settle in a cafe to write out my thoughts over a delightful cup of coffee. Although I am blessed with friendships that have 'safe spaces' that allow me to freely express my emotions, opinions and reflections, I still think it is important to sometimes to go back to the Bat Cave and spend some time sharing thoughts with yourself. Reflections allow you to play with your curiosity, entertain your doubts and arrive at a place of acceptance of certain things.