30-Day No Coffee Challenge

At the height of my coffee consumption, I was having three cups of coffee a day (equivalent to three espresso shots, or 616mg of caffeine). I would have one before breakfast, one around morning tea time and the last one post-lunch to help see me through the afternoon. When I did not have these routine doses of coffee, I felt tired, lacked concentration and 5pm seemed so far away. Needless to say, my body was addicted to the substance.

Enter the 30-Day challenge of not consuming coffee and trying to kick the habit, as they say. It was Ash’s idea as he was wanting to try something new and to see how well his body could adapt to change. I was similarly curious and joined him for the experiment. There were many ways to go about it - either by weaning off of it, reducing the daily caffeine intake while replacing the warm caffeinated beverage with a decaffeinated one, or just going cold turkey. We opted for the latter.

The first thing to go with this challenge was that Ash and I no longer needed the obligatory stop by the cafe before parting ways to our respective workplaces, or the multiple stopovers at various cafes in the Inner West during our weekends for our fix. It is a bit of a change, but nothing too drastic as we still spend our time frequenting these cafes, but having other tasty, warm beverages that are not coffee, such as herbal teas, chai, hot chocolate and matcha lattes. I have not been so bold as to try the increasingly popular turmeric latte, but am grateful that it is on offer as an alternative to coffee.

The usual from Handcraft Specialty Coffee (Newtown, 2019)

What did change for me was the coffee walks with my colleagues. Despite my assurances that I would still be down for the walk, it seemed to me that my colleagues were not convinced that I could “just pop down” with them without getting a cup of coffee. So my morning chats have been on the decline. Though this social element of the work day is relatively short (say a maximum of ten minutes), it does bring a lot of joy before starting work for the day, especially for the extraversion in me.

Not having the coffee hit also caused me to be rather irritable during the work day. For the first ten days of not having the substance, I experienced headaches that annoyingly ebbed and throbbed their way around my brain. I felt the smallest things irritated me, and my responses rather passive aggressive. I did apprise my colleagues about my challenge, and asked for their patience in its early days, especially during the afternoons.

Getting up was also very difficult, as if the headache lingered overnight and was striking me when the alarm went off and I was regaining consciousness. It did not help the work cause, as I was already struggling with my work load and felt I needed a good night’s sleep to get on top of work. In hindsight, I probably should have chosen a different month to do this challenge, a month with little or no Court deadlines or commitments.

Having started the challenge during one of the hardest working months, I was forced to find alternative coping mechanisms to see through my days sans coffee. 6am hot yoga proved to be an invigorating start to the morning, the room causing you to sweat buckets within a mere fifteen minutes. The necessary re-hydration after each class replenished my body and cells, reminding me that it is water that gives life, not coffee.

About two weeks in, the initial difficulties described above tapered off - no more headaches, irritability nor lethargy in the afternoons. I gained a sense of clarity during my work. Tea became revitalising after lunch. The pinot noir was even sweeter. I woke up from sleep feeling properly rested. Having said all of that, I do miss the warmth and taste of coffee. I might have a cup once every a fortnight or so moving forward. But I am enjoying this state of independence from coffee, and do not wish to go through the process of ridding my body of its addiction to it again.

30-Day Power Posing Challenge

A year ago today I was admitted to legal practice.  I was supported by my family, friends and work colleagues at this 'milestone'.   The problem was that I did not view my admission as any sort of milestone at all.  You see, throughout my life I suffered from something called Imposter Syndrome (I have been told by many my colleagues that they too experience this phenomena).  So how does someone who feels like they don't belong get to call themselves a lawyer?

Amy Cuddy delivered an excellent TED talk on Power Posing where she argues that our body language affects who we are.  The idea behind this is very similar to goal setting/visualisation of what you want in your life, where an intention is set and what you visualise materialises before you.  Except, rather than using the mind, Power Posing starts with our physical bodies, that is, in order to feel powerful, you embody power.  Cuddy's research tells us that people who sit upright in meetings come across as more confident than their counterparts who are slouched.  This means that rather than thinking that you are confident, you have to embody the confidence.  And needless to say, changing our body language is way easier than changing our mindsets.  In come Power Poses.  Think Wonder Woman, Super Man, poses that take up more room than less, open arms rather than crossed.  The posing of our bodies affect how we think and feel within our bodies.  Cuddy's advice was to give Power Posing a go (holding a powerful pose for 2 minutes) and see you feel and think about yourself. 

It happened to be 'clerkship' season around the corner, and I felt rather incompetent to be going for these jobs.  I really needed to boost my own self worth and confidence if I was every going to get through the first stage of the interviews.  So I stood in that iconic Wonder Woman pose, channelling her fierceness and strength, for 2 minutes every day for 30 days.  

Power posing (you may or may not want to dress up as well)

At first, it felt strange.  What if someone walked into my room and saw what I was doing?  How would I explain myself.  It felt extremely uncomfortable and unnatural to be standing like that.  I was not use to taking up so much space with my body.  Most interestingly, my mind is having a good laugh at myself.  The 2 minute alarm rings and I am relieved for the break to my sometimes intolerably mean consciousness.  Day 2 did not feel any different.  It was not until Day 7 that I start thinking, "Oh okay, this aint too bad."  By Day 20, I felt stronger and a little more confident.  I could see that my posture was slightly better and I felt a little more assertive.

A month later, I scored myself a couple of first round interviews.  It was the time to test whether Power Posing really worked.  Before my first interview, I asked the reception to where the bathroom was.  Most people would just go there to do their business, then make sure nothing is in between their teeth before going back to the lobby and sitting anxiously to be called into the interview room.  I did something extra that morning: 2 minutes of Power Posing. 

Sure enough, during the interview, I felt confident and assertive.  I stood my ground when questioned why I wanted to move into the private/corporate legal sector when all my past work experience pointed to a different trajectory.  I had a couple of interviews that did flop, of course (I had not read up on the state of the global market at the time and the regulations Australia had.  My fault!).

I ended up with a job after these interviews, and I continue to work at this firm now.  Thank you Amy Cuddy and Power Poses.  

I shared this story with some people.  Some of them have likened my experience to that saying, "fake it til you make it".  I disagree.  I did not feel fake whilst doing the Power Poses.  Like most of us, I had my confidence tucked away in the deep dark crevasses of their body.  The Power Poses helped me channel this hidden confidence to come up to the surface.  It is quite wonderful when it does surface, even that tiny little bit.

30-Days of Strangers Challenge

I love Sydney. It is a beautiful, busy and bustling city of many people from different backgrounds. But I sometimes feel like it lacks a sense of community here; it is utterly clique-y and difficult to meet new people. Perhaps it's because of our capitalist system which influences our sense of individuality, coupled with a 'us versus them' mentality that is often portrayed in mainstream media (especially of Australian politics). Maybe it's just particular to my case, as I grew up in the era of "stranger danger" and was told by my loving parents that I should not talk to anyone I don't know. Actually, it wasn't only my parents who was giving me the message, my primary school teachers also told me to never listen to or follow a stranger. I guess this was because there was a heightened fear in the community that children were vulnerable and could be taken advantage of. Of course, it was something we were taught to ensure our own safety as children. However, having such a message instilled into us as we grow into adult beings inevitably results in some disconnect within our society.

The propaganda most of us Australian kids was exposed to growing up. (Image taken from Radley's Primary School).

My time living away from Sydney allowed me to discover the joy of chatting to a complete stranger: as you would have it, it is simply the first step towards friendship. I found myself engaging with complete strangers (albeit there was a common "exchange student" bond). I was exposed to new ways of doing things, new ways of thinking and, importantly, new ways of eating. My Slovenian housemate, for example, showed me how an active lifestyle was fun, which made me feel incredibly happy, mentally and physically. Also, I developed an appreciation of smelly cheeses thanks to my French exchange friend who invited me over to share the care packages of different cheeses her mum sent her (because according to her, Canadian cheese was not the same as French ones). Needless to say, these interactions chased away my initial feelings of loneliness in such a new and foreign environment.  

In a quest to revitalise my sense of community when I returned to what I felt as a somewhat clique-y Sydney, I committed to what I called 30 Days of Strangers Challenge in October 2014. Essentially what this little social experiment involved was going up to a stranger everyday, be it on public transport, in a park or at university, and trying to engage in a conversation with them.   There were a handful strangers who looked at me funny, giving me the raised eyebrow, probably thinking, "What does this girl want from me?" Generally, these were commuters going home from a hard day in the office (so it goes). But for the most part, strangers happily responded. I would typically start off with, "Hello, how are you today?". A friendly salutation followed by an open-ended question gave space for conversation. Of course, the standard responses of "good", "not bad", "can't complain" required me to continue asking questions until conversation flowed.  But I found that generally, people would return the question, which led onto other questions.

My scribbles during the 30 Day Challenge

 There is something so intuitive about chatting to a complete stranger. There is open space and unlimited ground to cover. Our inherent human curiosity meant the stranger and I were utterly inquisitive about each other's day/life.  Most conversations started at the surface, with the conversation bearing around what we do, where we came from and what was planned for the day. But surface talk easily shifted towards more meaningful and deeper conversations (aka the good stuff). Some of the most memorable strangers I spoke to during the Challenge included an American middle-aged man who was totally digging Sydney's train system (what?), was travelling to the Manley Jazz Fest, and handsomely sported a fedora; an elderly Chinese couple who was taking their granddaughter out to the shops for the day; and a near-retirement Filipino lady who was on her way back from work, who ended up sharing her life story - from her kids, to her jobs, to her elderly mother back home in the Philippines who she calls everyday for at least ten minutes to talk. 

The dire consequences of not taking the first step. (Image taken from Honest Hipping Harpings).

I am grateful these kind strangers decided to share their stories with me, and also allowed me to share my stories with them. There was no follow up, so each conversation is what it was. As a result of this Challenge, I am now more comfortable reaching out to strangers and trying to get an insight into their life. It made me realise I am no more special than anyone else who walks this planet. I have the felt-knowledge that we are all just trying to be our best with the lives we have, and when our paths cross with other strangers, it is a blessing in itself. In a beautiful sort of way, these strangers allowed me to foster a sense of connection in my day-to-day life that month vis-a-vis your own self-discovery and self-placement. Strangers allow you to be you, because they have no preconception of who you are. By virtue of this beautiful dynamic, you are completely free to be you, free of expectations. It is utterly liberating and allows you to forge a truer sense of self. I am who I am today because of the strangers I've met along the way, some of which who I now dearly call my friends.